MIDDLE SCHOOL BY MONA: Speak Softly and Only in 4 Letter Explatives

I went to a small school in the middle of a cotton field and you can be sure it was brutal, especially for a girl. There were clear lines of if you were "in or out," and there were specific girls that decided your fate when you got off that 45 minute bus ride to nowhere.

I had yet to be selected as the target but I knew my time was coming. Unfortunately, I was still pretty naive as to how I would become the target but Mona was not. I got a call one day after school and it was my "friend." It proved to be an unusual conversation of stiff questioning about another mutual friend that you did not want to cross. After some goading, I verbally agreed that she could sometimes be "immature and a bit self absorbed," I then realized I had played right into the trap. Immediately, I hear a voice that makes my blood run cold. I have officially pissed off that girl you do NOT want to piss off. Then suddenly, I hear yet another voice on the phone. I was sort of confused then realized it was none other than my mother. She literally spoke a language I had never heard before. She strung together so many 4 letter words and cut downs about each girl, (and their mother I might add), that I sat there in pure disbelief. What was a "two-bit hussy?" After she hung up with them she calmly came into my room and told me that I needed to surround myself with better people and to go to bed.

I cried myself to sleep. I dreaded that entire 45 minute bus ride because I knew I would be toast. I arrived at school and held my breath only to find that both girls were just as sweet as they could be. Almost to a comical level, I think one of them offered to buy me extra milk in the lunch line. The nights previous events were never even mentioned. It was like they never transpired. Overtime, I slowly realized that both girls enjoyed torturing people and I moved on to a kinder friend group.

Fast forward to two days after my mother's passing. I was at the mall shopping for a black dress when one of those girls came up to me and said... "your mother scared the ever living shit out of me."

Dollars to donuts, I bet my Mom never got bullied in middle school.